Good Gambling Puns
- “Gambling with cards or dice or stocks is all one thing. It’s getting money without giving an equivalent for it.” – Henry Ward Beecher “Gambling is an act of faith of gamblers. Prophecy is an act of faith of the saints.” – Toba Beta “Luck, bad if not good, will always be with us.
- Dec 24, 2018 Gamblers like to win at slots and table games, but they also like a good laugh. Here are some of the best gambling jokes and hilarious puns!
- The picture is not as it seems to be. The geologists are also very pleasant by nature. It is the nature of their subject that makes them grave-looking people. They also cut jokes and puns with their relatives and loved ones. Here, I am going to list a few best puns and jokes related to geology.
Everyone loves witty jokes. Our hand-picked list of hilarious jokes is guaranteed to make anyone laugh.
26 Puns That Are Too Clever For Their Own Good. I tried to find 10 more really good puns that made me laugh, but no pun in 10 did. By Tanner Greenring. BuzzFeed Staff 1. If you're not into puns.
- Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
- I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
- I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
- My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
- I'm so good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.
- My boss told me to have a good day.. so I went home.
- Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands.
- A woman walks into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia. The librarian says 'They're right behind you!'
- The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
- Why do blind people hate skydiving? It scares the hell out of their dogs.
- When you look really closely, all mirrors look like eyeballs.
- My friend says to me: 'What rhymes with orange' I said: 'No it doesn't'
- What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? Roberto.
- What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old? Aye matey.
- My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
- I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
- Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well.
- I ate a clock yesterday, it was very time consuming.
- Whatdya call a frenchman wearing sandals? Phillipe Phillope.
- A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
- I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work.
- What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
- Did you hear about the italian chef that died? He pasta way.
- Why couldn't the bicycle stand up? Because it was two tired!
- Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
- My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort.
- Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it.
- When a deaf person sees someone yawn do they think it’s a scream?
- As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden. The plot thickens.
- How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the physco path.
- And the lord said unto John, 'Come forth and you will receive eternal life'. John came fifth and won a toaster.
- What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look! I’m about to change.
- I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do *not* read it!
- What did one hat say to the other? You stay here. I’ll go on ahead.
- Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure? Because he was a little shellfish.
- Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says 'Did you hear about that outbreak of mad cow disease? It makes cows go completely insane!'. The other cow replies 'Good thing I'm a helicopter'.
- What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.
- What did the father tomato say to the baby tomato whilst on a family walk? Ketchup.
- Why is there a fence around a cemetery? People are dying to get in.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping in the park? They woke him up.
- How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side.
- When will the little snake arrive? I don't know but he won't be long...
- Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
- What has three letters and starts with gas. A Car.
- How do you get an astronaut's baby to sleep? You rocket!
- I think i would like a job cleaning mirrors, it's just something I could really see myself doing.
- Why did it take so long for the pirates to learn the Alphabet? They got stuck at C.
- I took the shell off my racing snail thinking it would make him go faster, if anything it made him more sluggish.
- Somebody stole my microsoft office and they're going to pay - you have my Word.
- Just remember - you never really completely useless, you can always serve as a bad example.
Still looking to laugh some more? Read our large collection of Funny Dad Jokes
The topics for this week’s puns and one liners is gambling jokes. I should add that I’m not much of a gambler; the biggest wagers I seem to make are playing 2p machines at seaside resorts, so I am far from an expert in the topic. As normal, these come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality…
![Puns Puns](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/00/ad/18/00ad184ec9a7323f9c441f212635b0e3--chuck-norris-facts-chuck-norris-funny.jpg)
![Good Gambling Puns Good Gambling Puns](https://www.coolpun.com/images/coolpun/e0/e071356daac06ea2a26c406ec63ce19e.jpg)
I make a bet with a local farmer each year as to which lamb will jump highest. I like a gambol.
Got asked to leave the casino the other night. They said I had a chip on my shoulder.
How do you become a millionaire through gambling? Start as a billionaire.
I’m going to an Abba themed poker night. The winner takes it all.
Lost money betting with with one of the big cats at the zoo. Think he was a cheetah.
Did well at strip poker the other night. I played my socks off.
I gambled on a giraffe race the other day. Mine came second. Lost by a neck. It was nowhere near.
Good Gambling Puns For Kids
I took a gamble and bought a small boat without seeing it first. It was a punt.
I used to love eating chips until I got barred from the casino.
I bet on a horse at 10-1. It didn’t come in until half past three.
Good Gambling Puns Meaning
![Good Good](https://www.bestcasinosites.net/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/gambling-puns.jpg)
Walking down the road earlier and I tripped over a sign from the local betting shop. What are the odds on that?
A friend of mine keeps insisting on skipping through flower meadows. I think he has a gamboling problem.
Why are large maps rubbish at playing poker? They always fold.
Last week’s snooker jokes are here.
Good Gambling Puns For Adults
![Good Good](https://noluckneeded.com/imagehost/di/4FF3/cartoon-ship-it.jpg)
If you like these gambling jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics.
![Good Gambling Puns Good Gambling Puns](https://www.liveabout.com/thmb/FxzPP0LHsjfqiyJ882layCUomMI=/1258x838/filters:fill(auto,1)/DogEstersinhacheFotograf-a558313889-2--56afb2f33df78cf772c798d2.jpg)
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